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Anuj Dhawan
Superior Member
Joined: 22 Apr 2006
Posts: 6248
Location: Mumbai, India
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In the World of Romance, ONE Single Rule Applies to the Men:
Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects.
Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the point system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the rain (+8) But return with Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-10)
SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
Named Rita (-4)
Rita is a dancer (-6)
Rita is single and is really beautiful (-80)
HER BIRTHDAY
You forget her birthday (-50000)
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the
colours of your favourite team (-10)
A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)
ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)
COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned __ex-pression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)
Now what chance do you have??? |
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dick scherrer
Moderator Emeritus
Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Posts: 19243
Location: Inside the Matrix
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heh heh heh  |
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expat
Global Moderator
Joined: 14 Mar 2007
Posts: 8796
Location: Welsh Wales
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| Ah, Anuj, I see that the avatar has disappeared. |
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Anuj Dhawan
Superior Member
Joined: 22 Apr 2006
Posts: 6248
Location: Mumbai, India
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I forgot her birthday (-50000) - so the avatar was no longer mine!  |
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enrico-sorichetti
Superior Member
Joined: 14 Mar 2007
Posts: 10888
Location: italy
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do You still sleep on the door steps or You have been promoted to the guest room ?  |
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Anuj Dhawan
Superior Member
Joined: 22 Apr 2006
Posts: 6248
Location: Mumbai, India
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| shhhh...can't reveal that thing here! |
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expat
Global Moderator
Joined: 14 Mar 2007
Posts: 8796
Location: Welsh Wales
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| you may have lost the avatar, but did you manage to keep the girl ? |
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dick scherrer
Moderator Emeritus
Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Posts: 19243
Location: Inside the Matrix
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Hi Anuj,
Explain to her that this is simply you being considerate enough to have her prepared for your old age when things do slip your memory 
This way she can avoid the horrible surprise some other year. . . 
d |
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expat
Global Moderator
Joined: 14 Mar 2007
Posts: 8796
Location: Welsh Wales
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Dick,
It seems to me that poor Anuj has already reached that stage  |
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Anuj Dhawan
Superior Member
Joined: 22 Apr 2006
Posts: 6248
Location: Mumbai, India
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| I need to hide this thread from Google searches - by any hook and crook, you know! |
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Pete Wilson
Active Member
Joined: 31 Dec 2009
Posts: 592
Location: London
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Some useful additions:
SIMPLE DUTIES
You help 'unmake' the bed at their bidding (+8)
You take out the rubbish (+1)
You clean up the fox turds on the path (+5)
You put air in the tyres and oil in the engine of the car (+2)
You console her if she's forgotten to do the above and broken the car (+7)
You go out of the room/house to fart (0)
SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You strike up Facebook relationship with ex lovers (-40k)
HER BIRTHDAY
You come home late, drunk, with chocolates from the gas station (-200)
Then try and play hide the sausage (-400)
A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a lap-dance club (-20m)
You take her to a motorway services restuarant (-100)
YOUR PHYSIQUE
Your jowels can no longer be hidden by a beard (-100)
You can no longer see your genitals without a mirror (-100)
ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" You reply 'is dinner ready yet?' (-45) |
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dick scherrer
Moderator Emeritus
Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Posts: 19243
Location: Inside the Matrix
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| Quote: |
| You go out of the room/house to fart (0) |
You stay in the room (-20) |
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Pete Wilson
Active Member
Joined: 31 Dec 2009
Posts: 592
Location: London
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| Actually no - I go out of the room for her to fart! Phew! |
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