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Cool Meanings for some Classic Definitions (Joke)

IBM Mainframe Forums -> General Talk & Fun Stuff
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Joined: 24 Jul 2003
Posts: 568
Location: Bangalore

PostPosted: Mon Mar 01, 2004 12:01 am
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Hi All,

This is again Priya... Trying to post some more...Please tell your comments.....

1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end

& a fool at the other.

2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals

are more popular than a five day test.

3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor

degree and a woman gains her master

4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage

5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the

lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds

of either".

6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number


7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody

believes he got the biggest piece.

8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated

by feminine water-power ..

9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.

10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens &

everybody disagrees later on.

11. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

12. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

13. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

14. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their

15. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you

actually do.

16. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to

decide that nothing can be done together.

17. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

18. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

19. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken

of when dead.

20. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that

you actually look forward to the trip.

21. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally

falls into a river.

22. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in

midway "See I am not injured yet."

23. Pessimist : A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO,

Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

24. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

25. Father : A banker provided by nature.

26. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got


27. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you
are early.

28. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your

Confidence after.

29. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with

his bills.

And the Last But not the least is...

30. Mainframe Engineer : One who gets paid for surfing the net and reading my post
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krishna dilip

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Joined: 25 Feb 2004
Posts: 1

PostPosted: Mon Mar 01, 2004 6:16 pm
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icon_lol.gif hai priya. nice jokes. send more icon_biggrin.gif
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Joined: 28 Jan 2004
Posts: 37
Location: Trivandrum

PostPosted: Sat Apr 24, 2004 5:36 pm
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priya : Someone who has no other work except posting jokes in forums. icon_biggrin.gif

PS: I enjoy some of those anyway...
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New User

Joined: 04 May 2004
Posts: 1
Location: Chennai

PostPosted: Tue May 04, 2004 8:09 pm
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Really a cool one.
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