Joined: 23 Nov 2005
Location: Minneapolis, MN USA
Read the following. It s really funny!!
The teacher came up with a good problem. "Suppose," she asked the second-graders, "there were a dozen sheep and six of them jumped over a fence. How many would be left?"
"None," answered little Norman.
"None? Norman, you don't know your arithmetic."
"Teacher, you don't know your sheep. When one goes, they all go!"
Teacher: Why are you late, Joseph?
Joseph: Because of a sign down the road.
Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?
Joseph: The sign said, "School Ahead, Go Slow!"
A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do."
The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this ... by the way, what was it that you didn't do?"
The little girl replied, "My homework."
What is "pi"?
Mathematician: Pi is the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter.
Engineer: Pi is about 22/7.
Physicist: Pi is 3.14159 plus or minus 0.000005
Computer Programmer: Pi is 3.141592653589 in double precision.
Nutritionist: You one track math-minded fellows, Pie is a healthy and delicious dessert!
Why mathematicians are afraid drive a car?
Because the width of the road is negligible comparing to its length.
A mathematician organized a raffle in which the prize was advertised as an
infinite amount of money. He sold all the tickets quickly. When the winning
ticket was drawn, and the happy winner came to claim his prize, the
mathematician explained the mode of payment:
1 dollar now, 1/2 a dollar next week, 1/3 a dollar the week after that...
"The reason that every major university maintains a department of mathematics is that it is cheaper to do this than to institutionalize all those people."
If a mathematician writes a fantasy novel, would the pages have imaginary
If Fibonacci wrote the book, they would be numbered 1,1,2,3,5,8,13,21...
I will never forget the day in statistics when, the Professor, who had all of the traditional looks of one (white hair, tweed jacket with leather elbow patches) was writing on the board X sub i Y sub j; when one of the students asked, "Don't you mean X sub j Y sub i?" The Prof looked at the board a bit, then erased the marks with his sleeve, and said;"yes, you are correct. Quite often I will say one thing, write another, and be thinking a third. What I am thinking is correct, and you will be tested on." Every jaw in the classroom hit the floor!
A mathematician is showing a new proof he came up with to a large group of
peers. After he's gone through most of it, one of the mathematicians says,
"Wait! That's not true. I have a counter-example!"
He replies, "That's okay. I have two proofs."
Prime time :
The math faculty decided they got to too few first year students. So, they they made a television commercial to show had exciting mathematics can be. Too get the biggest audience it was scheduled at prime time: 2 o'clock, 3 o'clock, 5 o'clock, 7 o'clock and 11 o'clock