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Weekend stress buster

 
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Pandora-Box

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Joined: 07 Sep 2006
Posts: 1544
Location: Andromeda Galaxy

PostPosted: Sat Feb 23, 2013 12:15 am    Post subject: Weekend stress buster
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Patient : I am 30 years old I need to live till I am 100 .what should I do ??

Doctor : Live 70 years more .....
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Pandora-Box

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Joined: 07 Sep 2006
Posts: 1544
Location: Andromeda Galaxy

PostPosted: Sat Feb 23, 2013 12:26 am    Post subject:
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A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain.
"Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor."You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the woman.
"What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more specific."
The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe, "Ow, even THAT hurts", she cried. The doctor checked her thoughtfully for a moment and told her his diagnosis, "You have a broken finger."
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Binop B

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Joined: 18 Jun 2009
Posts: 407
Location: Nashville, TN

PostPosted: Sat Feb 23, 2013 2:01 am    Post subject:
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This woman is rushed to the hospital in critical condition. Her husband waits patiently in the waiting room. After a few minutes, the doctor comes out and asks her assistant for a wrench, which understandably concerns the husband.
Then, after a couple more moments, the doctor re-enters the room this time asking for a screwdriver. The man grows worried and begins to pace in circles.
Then, a little later, the doctor bursts through the doors screaming for a hammer, at that, the husband, in a state of frenzied terror, runs up to the surgeon and asks, ''Doctor, what the heck is wrong with my wife?''
"I don't know," replies the flustered doctor, "I can't get my damn bag open."
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Ed Goodman

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Joined: 08 Jun 2011
Posts: 556
Location: USA

PostPosted: Sat Feb 23, 2013 2:28 am    Post subject:
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Old lady tells the doctor that she is having horrible gas. She says she has been passing wind constantly, but they were the type that are silent.

She says it kept happening even in the waiting room, but no one knew who it was. She said that it had happened just now, just like before, silent but deadly.

So what can we do?

Well, first, we're getting your hearing checked.
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Akatsukami

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Joined: 03 Oct 2009
Posts: 1783
Location: Bloomington, IL

PostPosted: Sat Feb 23, 2013 3:05 am    Post subject:
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I went to my doctor for a check-up. When it was over the doctor shook his head grimly and said, "You're in very bad health".

Hoping to lighten the mood a little, I asked, "So, how long do I have to live?"

The doctor said, "Ten".

"Ten what?" I asked; "Ten months? Ten weeks?"

The doctor said, "Nine...".
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