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employer point of view

 
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enrico-sorichetti

Global Moderator


Joined: 14 Mar 2007
Posts: 10210
Location: italy

PostPosted: Sun Dec 19, 2010 12:58 pm    Post subject: employer point of view
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found on a friend computer without any reference to the source

"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED TEAM"
We have no time to train you.

"COMPETITIVE SALARY"
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE"
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED"
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED"
Some time each night and some time each weekend.

"DUTIES WILL VARY"
Anyone in the office can boss you around.

"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL"
We have no quality control.

"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL" ( alternate )
We have no company documentation standards.

"CAREER-MINDED"
Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

"APPLY IN PERSON"
If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.

"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE"
We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE"
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST"
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS"
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS"
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.

from the style of many posts around here certainly the first one is the most real,

but also the last one is not bad icon_biggrin.gif
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GuyC

Senior Member


Joined: 11 Aug 2009
Posts: 1278
Location: Belgium

PostPosted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 2:12 pm    Post subject:
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+1
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Escapa

Senior Member


Joined: 16 Feb 2007
Posts: 1399
Location: IL, USA

PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 8:12 pm    Post subject:
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Quote:

"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE"
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.


icon_lol.gif icon_lol.gif
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superk

Moderator Team Head


Joined: 26 Apr 2004
Posts: 4648
Location: Raleigh, NC, USA

PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 9:11 pm    Post subject: Reply to: employer point of view
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Excelllent!
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Bill Woodger

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Joined: 09 Mar 2011
Posts: 7251

PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 11:11 pm    Post subject: Reply to: employer point of view
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"MAINTENANCE OF INOVATIVE MACHINE-INDEPENDENT SOFTWARE"
We've sold the system to several clients, it doesn't work on any machine, and we're looking for a miracle, or a scapegoat.
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