bhim_sb
Warnings : 1
New User
Joined: 31 Mar 2005
Posts: 24
|
|
|
|
One
3 + 3 =8
Bataaon Kaise?
Bataaon Bataaon!
Nahi Pata?!!
>
>
>
>
> Are
> Galati se!!!!!!!!!!!
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Gulshan Grover is riding a bike at the velocity of
> light.
> On the way he offers a lift to a stranger.
>
> Stranger: 'Sir, can I know your name please'
> Gulshan : 'I am Gulshan Grocer'
> Stranger : Grocer? Sure you dont mean Gulshan
> Grover??
> Gulshan: No it is Grocer.
>
> Now tell me why did Gulshan say so...
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> scroll down for the ultimate PJ
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Further,,,
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Little further...
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ANS: Because at the speed of light V=C
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Ek Gaaon me Seeta aur Geeta do Behane rehati hai.
> Dono ko ek baar nadi paar karanee hoti hai.
> Seeta nadee me kudati hai aur tairake jaatee hai.
> Geeta pool ke upar se chalake jaati hai.
> Phir bhi Gaaon ke log bolate hai ki Seeta Geeta se
> jyada intellegent hai.
> Kyon?
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> Kyon?
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> Socho.
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> Nahi pata?
> .
> .
> Kyonki
> Seeta ko Geeta se S.S.C ke exam me jyada marks
> milate
> hai.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> zindegi ek paheli hai...
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ------
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
> ---
>
> scroll karne se solve nahi hogi....
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Teacher: 'A' for?
> Student: Apple !!!
> Teacher: Jor se bolo
> Student: JAI MATA DI
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Ek baar ek aadmi ne badi tapasya ki.
>
> shivji khush .
>
> Prakat hue ...
>
> bole ...
>
> .
>
> .
>
> .
>
> .
>
> .
>
> puttar maang ...
>
> maang kya chahiye tujhey !
>
> bakth utha ...
>
> bole shivji ...
>
> mujhey to aap sirf ek guitar de do !
>
> shivji bole kaisa gadha hai ?
>
> unhone kaha ... puttar ...
>
> tuney badi achchi tapsya ki hai ...
>
> kuch bada maang !
>
> .
>
> .
>
> .
>
> .
>
> wo fir bola ... nahi ji ..mujhey to aap guitar hi do
>
> shivji ne phir samajhaya .. abey .. kuch dhang ka
> maang ... !
>
> par wo to ada hi hua tha ... bola nahi ... aap to
> mujhey guitar hi do !
>
> shivji usey bade pyaar se khopch me lekar samjhane
> lage ... bole ..yaar tu
>
> kuch aur maang .. guitar
>
> na maang ...
>
> wo bola ... nahi nahi nahi !! mujhey sirf guitar hi
> chahiye ... ab
>
> shivji gussey main aa gaye ... boley ,(scroll down)
>
> .
>
> .
>
> .
>
> .
>
> .
>
> .
>
> .
>
> .
>
> .
>
> .
>
> .
>
> .
>
> .
>
> .
>
> .
>
> .
>
> .
>
> .
>
> .
>
> .
>
> .
>
> .
>
> .
>
> .
>
> .
>
> .
>
> .
>
> .
>
> .
>
> saale .. agar guitar mere paas hota to main ye
> damaru
> kyo bajata 
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> sardar kya sochte sochte marr gaya ???
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ....
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ....
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ....
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> agar meri bahan se do bhai hain, to mera sirf ek
> kaise
> ?
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ) Smoking
> 2) Drinking
> 3) Charas
> 4) Ganja
> 5) Chicken
> 6) Mutton
> 7) Oily food
> 8) Masala
> 9) Sleep & obesity
> 10) Pollution
>
> =
>
> Heart Attack
>
> Matlab
>
>
> scrolll down
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> DUS bahane karke le gaye DIL !!
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Do you know why the name of Madras was replaced by
> Chennai???
>
>
>
> Think......
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Think..
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Bit more.......
>
>
>
> Because...a Madrassi wears lungi and there is no zip
> means
> chen..nai...
>
>
>
>
>
> What's the opposite of "Dominoes"???
>
> think
> think
> think
> think
> think
> think
> think
> think
> think
> think
> think
> think
> think
> think
> think
> think
> think
> think
> think
> think
> think
> think
> think
> think
> think
> think
> think
> think
> think
> think
> think
> think
> think
> think
> think
> think
> think
> think
> think
> think
> think
> think
> think
> think
> think
>
> tired of thinking???
>
> Well the answer is "Domi doesn't know"
>
>
>
>
>
> Whats the opposite of "Pizza Hut"
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ...
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ....
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> .....
>
> okei don't kill me "Pizza Hutna math"
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ok whats the opp of venky's..
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> venlocks...
> (now,now,dont bang ur head plz..)
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Gattu ek lecture attend karta hai.
>
>
> lecture ke baad use bhookh
>
>
> lagti hai. so
>
>
> he goes to the canteen. canteen
>
>
> mein gattu ek pav leta hai.
>
>
> jaise hi woh
>
>
> pav khane ke liye uthata hai to
>
>
> dekhta hai ki uski plate mein
>
>
> "jannat" likha hai.
>
>
> To janaab ab aapko yeh batana hai
>
>
> ki gattu jiska
>
>
> lecture attend karke aa raha hai!
>
>
> , us proffessor ka
>
>
> naam kya hai???
>
>
> guess
>
>
> scroll down for the answer
>
>
> .
>
>
> .
>
>
> .
>
>
> .
>
>
> .
>
>
> .
>
>
> .
>
>
> .
>
>
> .
>
>
> .
>
>
> .
>
>
> ..
>
>
> .
>
>
> .
>
>
> .
>
>
> .
>
>
> .
>
>
> .
>
>
> .
>
>
> The answer is
>
>
> Ishq Ki Chhaon.
>
>
> Jinke "Sir" ho "Ishq ki Chhaon"
>
>
> "Pav" ke neeche "Jannat" hogi....
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> A women goes in an Auto (rickshaw) and gets bald???
> How???
>
>
> Lets C' if you can solve this one....
>
>
>
>
> ...
>
>
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ..
> .
> .
> .
> Can't think...c'mon...
>
>
>
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> ..
> .
> .
>
> ..
>
> .
>
> .
> .
> Here goes the answer...
>
>
>
> .
> .
>
> .Automatically (Auto-Mein-Takli).....Smile-
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Whats the opposite of Gopalakrishnan?
>
> Comepalakrishnan.
>
>
> What is the opposite of Subramnium Swamy?
>
> Subramanium Didn't See Me.
>
>
> How do they start a road race in Tamil Nadu?
>
> Ready....Steady.....PO
>
>
> What do you call a really colourful Tamilian?
>
> Rangamannar Rangarajan.
>
>
>
> What do you call an amazing Malayalee?
>
> Pheno Menon.
>
>
>
> What do you call a dashing Malayalee?
>
> Debo Nair.
>
>
>
> Why did the Malayalee cross the road?
>
> To join the trade union on the other side.
>
>
>
> do you call a god fearing Sindhi?
>
> Bhagwandas Godwani.
>
>
> A Sindhi electrician?
>
> Voltram Bijlani.
>
>
>
> A Sindhi milkman?
>
> Gopal Dudeja.
>
>
>
> A Sindhi pest control contractor?
>
> Khatmull Marwani.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> A Sindhi detergent?
>
> Neelam Rin-dani.
>
> A Sindhi postman?
>
> Mailwani.
>
>
>
>
>
> A fashionable Sindhi?
>
> Jogio Armani or Primlani.
>
>
>
>
>
> A forgetful Sindhi?
>
> Bhulo Bhulchandani.
>
>
>
> A fat Sindhi?
>
> Hathiramani
>
>
>
>
>
> A corrupt Sindhi?
>
> Chaipani.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Why did the visitor to the Gujju home run away when
>
> he was offered tea?
>
> Because the Gujju said he would serve snakes with
> it.
>
>
>
> What is a Gujju picnic called?
>
> A snake in the grass.
>
>
>
> Why did the American get scared of the Gujju?
>
> Because he said 'Sue kare chhe.'
>
>
>
> What did the Gujju! mean when he said," Maro dikro
>
> STATES ma gayon?"
>
> His son failed in statistics.
>
>
>
> Maro dikro Dubai gayo?
>
> My son drowned.
>
>
>
> Which programs do gujjus couples love to watch on
>
> tv? Be-watch
>
> (Baywatch, Be in gujju is 2)
>
>
>
> What do you call a knee less gujju ?
>
> Nilesh (Pronounced Nee-Less)
>
>
>
>
>
> An outlawed Bengali?
>
> Kanoon Banerjee.
>
>
>
> An enlightened Bengali?
>
> Jyoti Basu.
>
>
>
> Bengali who works?
>
> A work of fiction.
>
>
>
> A stupid Bengali girl?
>
> Balika Buddhu.
>
>
>
> A Bengali marriage?
>
> Bedding
>
>
>
> A mad Bengali?
>
> In Sen.
>
>
>
> A dark Bengali who lives in a cave?
>
> Kalidas Guha.
>
>
>
> A Bengali mobster?
>
> Robin G
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses' wife
> instead.
>
> "I'm afraid he died last week." she explains.
>
> The next day the man calls again and asks for the
> boss.
>
> "I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week."
>
> The next day he calls again and once more asks to
> Speak to his boss.
>
> By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts,
> "I'VE ALREADY TOLD
> YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK!
>
> WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?"
>
> "Coz," he replied laughing, "I just love hearing
> it..."
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> A guy is traveling in a deluxe car in the desert. He
> wants to take a bath, but he hasn�t got a
> soap
> and there is no water anywhere around�
>
> what can he do?
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ->>He will integrate his d-lux car to get Lux + c
> (constant of integration) Using the lux soap he will
> take bath in the �c�.
>
>
>
> one day a man calls his wife from his IDEA mobile
> his call gets cross connected to some other
> lady.They
> still keep on talking..they start liking each
> other..and finally they get married.
> what MORAL do u get???
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
>
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> ..
> An IDEA can change your wife.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ek baar teen ants jarahi thee.......
> to unhein cheenee(sugar) ki bori milti hie to pahlee
> do cheenti to usmein se cheenee ke dane utha leti
> hei
> but ek nahi uthati batao kyu ...........
>
>
>
> kyunki
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> kyunki
>
>
>
>
>
> use sugar ki beemari thee
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> A sardarji went to a STD/ISD/PCO SHOP and slapped
> the
> operator twice.
>
>
> :-(
>
> Guess why ?
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> because there it was written "Number dial karne se
> pehele do lagae"
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> a sardar goes to movie with 17 sardars
> why?????????????
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> coz it was an adult movie n below 18 were not
> allowed
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> MALLIKA SHERAWAT KE MARNE KE BAAD USKI KABR PE KYA
> LIKHA HOGA?
>
> �PEHLI BAR AKELI SOYI HAI.:�
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> how do u place a camel in a fridge in three steps??
> ...
> ...
> 1.open the fridge
> 2.keep the camel inside it
> 3.close the fridge
> next one
> >>
> hoe do u place an elephant in the fridge in 4
> steps??
> ..
> ...
> ..
> 1.open fridge 2.take the camel out
> 3.place the elephant inside
> 4.close the door
>
>
>
>
>
> there was a jungle meeting. all the animals were
> required to report. all of them turned out, except
> one. who was it and why??
>
>
> .
>
>
> .
>
> .
>
> .
>
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .the elephant... u put it in the refridgerator,
> remember ???
>
>
>
>
>
> now u have to cross a river which ios inhabited by
> deadly crocodiles...but any way u have to cross that
> river ...how will u cross that ?
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> it simple ...as all animals are attending the
> meeting
> ...so no crocodiles are there..so u can cross
> easily...
>
>
>
> Okay in the jungle meeting where all the animals
> reported, they were welcomed with gutkha.....only
> one
> animal requested for a particular brand. which
> animal
> and which brand?
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Ans: the animal is giraffe and he opted for
> "Manikchand" (Unche log unchi pasand !!!)
>
>
>
>
> king lion goes on a search to find elephant
>
> and has absolutely no problem in locatin this
> camel......y??
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> becoz our elephant kept his footwear outside the
> fridge.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> suppose u need 2 transport all the things in ur
> house
> 4 relocating..suppose u go by aircraft ... it is
> losing height and pilot asks u throw something away
> to
> reduce load...what is the thing u will throw away to
> reduce the load??
> ...
> ...
> the elephant in the fridge!!!!!!!!
>
> two persons r talkin by the swimming pool...one says
> he wont swim bcoz he is afraid of dying bcoz of
> drowning.....the other one says ....hey dont be
> afraid..i'll show u how 2 swim and he dives in the
> pool n starts swimming....
> suddenly, the man outside the pool dies...
> ........
> ...........
> guess why????????
> ..........
> .........
> .........
> the elephant falls on him.......
> .......
> ......
> ok enough time pass one final Q
>
> ek haathi agar swimming pool mein gir gaya
> to kaise bahar nikalega???????
> ........
> ........
> think
> ....
> think....
> ......
> ......
> ......
> .......
> .......
> .......
> .......
> geela ho ke nikalega......
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ek aadmi marne vala hei to use kya khilaoge ........
>
> sweets nops
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> sault nopes
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> think
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> think
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> are yaar
> birla white cement
> kyunki iske ander jaan hei.......
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> whats difference between a man jumping from 1st
> floor
> and a man jumping from 10th floor?
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> former goes (hit) aaaaaaaaa
> later goes aaaaaaaaa (hit)
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Other than being fruits, what is common between an
> Apple and an Orange?
>
>
> think......
> ...........
> ...........
> ...........
> ...........
> ...........
> ...........
> ...........
> ...........
> ...........
> ...........
> ...........
> ...........
> ...........
> socho socho
> ...........
> ...........
> ...........
> ...........
> ...........
> ...........
> ...........
> ...........
> ...........
> ...........
> the answer is ..........
> They Both Are Not a Banana !!
> |
|
