Portal | Manuals | References | Downloads | Info | Programs | JCLs | Master the Mainframes
IBM Mainframe Computers Forums Index
IBM Mainframe Computers Forums Index Mainframe: Search IBM Mainframe Forum: FAQ Memberlist Usergroups Profile Log in to check your private messages Log in


Really Good

Post new topic   Reply to topic    IBMMAINFRAMES.com Support Forums -> General Talk & Fun Stuff
View previous topic :: :: View next topic  
Author Message

New User

Joined: 02 Jun 2005
Posts: 58

PostPosted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 2:26 pm    Post subject: Really Good
Reply with quote

These were worth a good laugh.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe
sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The
mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and
then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be
said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots
(marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by
maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that
has never had an accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last..................

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message

View previous topic :: :: View next topic  
Post new topic   Reply to topic    IBMMAINFRAMES.com Support Forums -> General Talk & Fun Stuff All times are GMT + 6 Hours
Page 1 of 1


Search our Forum:

Similar Topics
Topic Author Forum Replies Posted
No new posts Good Job Pizza Hut :) vasanthz General Talk & Fun Stuff 0 Wed May 06, 2015 4:50 pm
No new posts Switching from Mainframe to Java Tech... ponrenjith42 General Talk & Fun Stuff 3 Tue Aug 26, 2014 9:23 am
No new posts A good week so far Ed Goodman General Talk & Fun Stuff 2 Wed May 15, 2013 8:27 pm
No new posts Which Technology having good scope in... Gopalakrishnan V General Talk & Fun Stuff 11 Mon Sep 24, 2012 1:30 pm
No new posts Biggner to MVS HLASM - Need Good Book... dick scherrer PL/I & Assembler 4 Mon Jul 11, 2011 8:11 am

Back to Top
Mainframe Wiki | Forum Rules | Bookmarks | Subscriptions | FAQ | Tutorials | Contact Us