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Husband-Wife Jokes

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Joined: 10 May 2005
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 14, 2005 10:09 am    Post subject: Husband-Wife Jokes
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Why divorce?

In a divorce court a woman requested the judge:
"Your honor, I want to divorce my husband."
"But why ?" asked the judge.
She replied, "Because he is not faithful to me."
The judge asked, "How do you know ?"
She replied, "My lord, not a single child resembles him."

Husband & Wife - Love Your Enemy

From his death bed, the husband called his wife and said,
"One month after I die I want you to marry Samy."
"Samy! But he is your enemy !"
"Yes, I know that ! I've suffered all these years
so let him suffer now."

Husband & Wife - Wedding Ring At the cocktail party,

One woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? "
The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."

Husband & Wife - Same Service

A husband visited a marriage counselor and said,
"When we were first married, I would come home
from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and
our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it's
all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my
wife runs around barking."
"Why complain?" said the cou! nselor. "You're still
getting the same service!"


Husband & Wife - Talk About Husband

One woman told another : "My neighbour is always
speaking ill of her husband, but look at me, my
husband is foolish, lazy and a coward; but have
I ever said anything bad about him?"

Husband & Wife - No Answer Back

A man was telling his friends, "When my wife is infuriated, she starts shouting at me, my
children and even at our dogs and nobody dares to answer her."
One of his friends asked."And when you are angry, what do you do?"
The man replied, "I also shout angrily at the windows and doors of the house and none of them
dares to answer back.

Husband & Wife - Come Home Late
A woman was complaining to the neighbour that her
husband always came home late, no matter how she
tried to stop him. "Take my advice," said the
neighbour, "and do
what I did. Once my husband came home at three
o'clock in the morning, and from my bed I called
out: "Is that you, Jim?" And that cured him.
"Cured him !" asked the woman, "but how?"
The neighbour said, "You see, his name is Bill."
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