Portal | Manuals | References | Downloads | Info | Programs | JCLs | Master the Mainframes
IBM Mainframe Computers Forums Index
IBM Mainframe Computers Forums Index Mainframe: Search IBM Mainframe Forum: FAQ Memberlist Usergroups Profile Log in to check your private messages Log in


"Something About Wives"

Post new topic   Reply to topic    IBMMAINFRAMES.com Support Forums -> General Talk & Fun Stuff
View previous topic :: :: View next topic  
Author Message

Active User

Joined: 19 Feb 2005
Posts: 141
Location: South Africa

PostPosted: Mon May 30, 2005 9:50 am    Post subject: "Something About Wives"
Reply with quote


"Something About Wives"

My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.
-Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
-Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
-Milton Berle

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said,
"There was water in the carburetor."
I asked her, "Where's the car?"
She replied, In the lake."
-Henny Youngman

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
-Henny Youngman

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband,

"You know, I was a fool when I married you."
The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than
to let him keep her.

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to
interrupt her.

My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate.
So I got myself two girlfriends.

A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided
not to report it since the thief was spending much less than
his wife did.

Man is incomplete until he is married.

Then he is finished.

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does
it cost to get married?"
The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of
Africa, a Man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.

Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real
happiness was until I got married; then it was too late.

A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."
The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same: "You can have mine."

A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend.
"A billionaire." she replied,

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

It's not true that married men live longer than single men.
It only seems longer.

Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was
almost impossible.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go
through life Thinking they had no faults at all.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife
can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask
for whatever he wants,
but his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets.
The man thinks for a moment and says, Okay, give me a
million dollars and beat me till I'm half dead."

Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

The most effective way to remember your wife's
birthday is to forget it once.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message



Joined: 24 Jul 2003
Posts: 568
Location: Bangalore

PostPosted: Mon May 30, 2005 6:32 pm    Post subject:
Reply with quote

Repost, Search before posting....
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
View previous topic :: :: View next topic  
Post new topic   Reply to topic    IBMMAINFRAMES.com Support Forums -> General Talk & Fun Stuff All times are GMT + 6 Hours
Page 1 of 1


Search our Forum:

Similar Topics
Topic Author Forum Replies Posted
No new posts Amount field is getting corrupted whe... thesumitk SYNCSORT 5 Tue Oct 18, 2016 8:20 pm
No new posts hot to get details when "EXEC CI... Andi1982 CICS 11 Tue Sep 20, 2016 5:01 pm
No new posts Multi row fetch - "for read only... Nileshkul DB2 3 Sun Aug 14, 2016 12:52 am
No new posts "DFSRRC00 vs IKJEFT01" for ... arunsoods All Other Mainframe Topics 5 Fri Aug 12, 2016 9:54 pm
No new posts Need to show date in "DYYMMDD.TH... deepak_shrivastava DFSORT/ICETOOL 2 Tue Jan 05, 2016 7:15 pm

Back to Top
Mainframe Wiki | Forum Rules | Bookmarks | Subscriptions | FAQ | Tutorials | Contact Us