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24/7 CALL CENTER Jokes (Realtime jokes)

 
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priya

Moderator


Joined: 24 Jul 2003
Posts: 568
Location: Bangalore

PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2005 11:01 pm    Post subject: 24/7 CALL CENTER Jokes (Realtime jokes)
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TAKEN FROM 24/7 HELPDESK LOG...
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another
keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ..."
Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still
on my desk... sorry ...
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and ...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill
Gates damn it!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it
says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in
front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Helpdesk: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: And now hit F8.
Customer: It's not working.
Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly?
Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's
happening...
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital
letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
A customer couldn't get on the internet.
Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on my
computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: May I help you?
Old woman: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. Can you
please tell me how long it will take before you can help me?
Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem?
Old woman: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4
hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me?
----------
Helpdesk: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle around
it?
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priya

Moderator


Joined: 24 Jul 2003
Posts: 568
Location: Bangalore

PostPosted: Fri Mar 25, 2005 8:33 pm    Post subject: Updates for this Month
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Some more updates for this month from 24/7.


Quote:
PEOPLE WONDER WHY THEY ARE PAID SO MUCH......FOR JUST BEING ON THE PHONE


TAKE A LOOK:
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1) Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."

Customer: "Ok."

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer "No." Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"

Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2) Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."

Tech Support:" Did you install the update?"

Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

3). Customer: "I'm having trouble installing Mcft Word."

Tech Support:: "Tell me what you've done."

Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."!

Tech Support:: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."

Customer:: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."

Tech Support:: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."

Customer:: "What?"

Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"

Customer: "No..."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

4). Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"

Tech Support:: ?!%#$
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

5). Tech Support:: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen,can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"

Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

6) Tech Support:: "What type of computer do you have?"

Customer:: "A white one."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

7). Tech Support:: "Type 'A:' at the prom C."

Customer:: "How do you spell that?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

8 ) Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?"

Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

9). Tech Support:: "What operating system are you running?"

Customer: "Pentium."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

10). Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

11).Customer: "I have Mcft Exploder."
12).Customer: "How do I print my voice mail?"
13). Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won't boot

properly."

Tech Support: "What does it say?"

Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."

Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"

Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

14). Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."

Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

15). Tech Support:: "What does the screen say now?"

Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."

Tech Support:: "Well?"

Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

16). A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that this computer is faulty.

Tech: What's the problem?

User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.

Tech: You'll need a new power supply.

User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.

Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.

User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.

10 minutes later,
the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.


Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our

Customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.

User: I knew it!

Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes.



10 minutes later.

User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.

Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?

User: MS-DOS 6.22.

Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Mcft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes.

1 hour later.

User: I need a new power supply.

Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?

User: Well, I rang Mcft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply.

Tech: Then what did he say?

User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.
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